Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Thai Wedding Making Merit


By Richard Barrow | Posted in Thai Culture


Thai Wedding Making Merit
There are an increasing number of foreigners who are marrying Thai women or Thai men. And according to our ThailandQA.com Forums, there are also many people coming to Thailand to attend weddings as guests as they are asking questions like “What do we wear to a Thai wedding” and “What gift do we give the bride and bridegroom?”. As I was at a Thai wedding last weekend, I thought I would share with you some of my photos. I was the official photographer (I also do funerals but that is another story) so I took about 1,900 pictures on this day. I have been to quite a few weddings in Thailand, so I will try my best to give you an explanation of a typical wedding. These may vary throughout the country but most of them typically have the same elements. In urban areas the wedding might only last for one day, but upcountry the celebrations often go on for three or four days. These are pictures of a typical wedding in Central Thailand.

A Thai wedding in Thailand is not your typical wedding that you may have experienced in your home country. There is no church wedding as such as the first ceremony usually takes place at the home of the bride or the new home of the wedding couple. Traditionally, an odd number of monks, usually nine, are invited to bless the home of the wedding couple and also all of the participants in the upcoming wedding. The wedding cannot take place on just any month of the year or even day or time. Auspicious months for a wedding are usually days in the waxing phase of the moon on the second, fourth, sixth, eighth and twelve lunar months.

These are all even months as the number two represents the couple to be married. The ninth lunar month is also considered to be lucky. However, you should never get married in the tenth lunar month as it is considered very unlucky for your marriage. This is to do with dogs who are usually in heat at that time of the year. No-one wants to be associated with copulating dogs. Once the month is chosen, they then consult an astrologer who will then choose the precise date and time for the ceremonies to start.

The monks are invited early in the morning. Usually for this part of the ceremony, only close family and friends might attend. The five precepts are first recited and then the monks chant auspicious text from the scriptures. While this is being done, some water in a bowl, with a candle dripping over it, is being made sacred. At the completion of the chanting, the wedding couple simultaneously, again representing their unity, offer food to each of the monks. After the monks have finished their meal, the couple then make another offering of flowers, money in an envelope and essential items for every day life for the monks. Any merit made during this ceremony is then passed onto ancestors and absent relatives by doing “kruat nam”, where water is poured from a container slowly into a bowl. The head monk will then mark the foreheads of the couple with three dots using paste which was blessed during the ceremony. He then blesses the couple with the holy water.

 As the monk departs, he will sprinkle water over the other guests. To receive the blessing in a proper manner, you need to put your hands together in a prayer-like gesture.

As you can see by the above picture, most guests are sitting outside the house at round tables. They are being served food and drinks. Though, strictly speaking, they cannot start eating until after the monks have finished their own meal. Inside the house were the parents and grandparents of the couple to be married. Everyone else was outside. When you receive a wedding invitation, you will often have the times for three different ceremonies. Quite often these days, they are held on the same day. For this wedding, the ceremony to be blessed by the monks and to make merit started at 7 a.m. and lasted over 90 minutes. It might be a bit boring with all the chanting and if you are not a Buddhist then there isn’t much you can do other than eat and drink. In addition, you will most likely be sitting outside so will only be able to hear the chanting.

Most people don’t turn up for this part. Or, if they do, they will arrive late. You don’t have to wear anything formal, just something smart. This is now the end of the first part of the wedding day. The couple are not married yet. They have just received a blessing from the monks. The monks now leave and don’t take part in the next ceremony.





http://www.thai-blogs.com/2008/08/23/thai-wedding-photos/
Related Blogs and Articles: Probably the most famous Thai Wedding on the Internet was of Thailand’s famous Internet teenager, Panrit “Gor” Daoruang. You can read all about his wedding and see the photos at thailandlife.com. About three years ago, I wrote a popular blog called How to Get Married Cheaply. It was a kind of mass wedding ceremony where a group of couples got married at the same time. Our Steve wrote about his own wedding in a blog called Getting Married……In Thailand and our resident Thai blogger, Oakmonster, writer about her Thai wedding in America in Temple of Love. Finally, if you are dating a Thai girl or boy, then you might find our Relationships Forum useful as it helps with cultural misunderstanding and procedures like meeting the family for the first time. You need to register to see this forum. It is quick and free to do so
 

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Thai Wedding

Thai Wedding The Procession and the Sin Sod

By Richard Barrow | Posted in Thai Culture




Sin Sod

thai wedding
I was telling you before about the Thai wedding I recently attended. The first part of the ceremony was for Making Merit and the Blessing of the Monks. On the wedding invitation I received, the next event was scheduled to start at 9 a.m. This is the parade of the groom and his family and friends from his house to the house of the bride. Though typically, they normally start their parade just around the corner. This starts as soon as the monks have left as they no longer take part in the wedding ceremony. The procession is only for members of the groom’s family and friends. They are basically escorting him to the house of the bride’s parents where the elders will discuss the dowry payment. Leading the procession are a group of young ladies performing the ramwong dance. A lot of hand movements are typically used for this. Behind them are a traditional Thai band used for such processions – they have long drums and cymbals. Next comes the banana plants and sugar cane plants. After the ceremony has finished, the banana plants are planted in the garden. By the time the couple have children, the plant will be ready to provide food and nourishment for the baby. Taking up the rear are the people carrying the gifts and food for the family of the bride.

As the procession approaches the house, they see that their way is blocked by three gates which act like a kind of “toll-gate”. To pass them, the father of the groom has to negotiate the price of a safe passage. At each gate, usually made up from silver and gold coloured belts, the price of the toll becomes higher. As you can see from this picture, a female member of the bride’s family wants a higher price than the one offered. The father of the bride has to make sure that he has enough money envelopes to pay off all the female relatives standing at each gate. Eventually they arrive at the house. The gifts are brought into the front living room and the banana tree and sugar cane plant are left at the front door to provide their own symbolic doorway.

Inside the house, senior members of each family carefully inspect all the wedding gifts. The amount of the dowry, or sin sod in Thai, to be paid by the groom to the bride’s family, had been agreed upon several months before. They were now making sure everything is in order. The food is an offering to the dead ancestors. The ceremony tells them that the couple are intending to get married. Common offerings include banana, coconut, boiled rice, meat, alcohol and Thai sweets. The number of trays offered has to be an even number to represent the couple.

The money is laid out on a cloth. This is largely symbolic as it is often returned to the couple to use after the wedding has finished. But, traditionally, it is as seen as payment for the “mother’s milk”. Again it is for the ancestors to see that this marriage is legally binding. The amount of money offered has to be an even number. If the wife desserts her husband for a reason that is not valid, then he can claim it back. Next the bride and groom present each other with gold rings and necklaces. The senior relatives then bless the money and other gifts. In the picture above, you can see various kinds of leaves in the bowls. All of these have auspicious names. Such as “gold leaf” and “silver leaf” which will mean that they will have a prosperous life.

Next the relatives, in order of seniority, will come forward to bless the couple. They will tie the “sai sin” on the wrist of each couple. To do this properly, you need to stroke the wrist of each couple first and then tie the knot. You can say a blessing at the same time. They will then prostrate in front of you, unless of course you are a junior member of the family. If you have come to this part of the ceremony, then you will see that there is a bowl next to the couple which you use to make an offering. You put the money in the same envelope that you received your invitation. This is usually pink. It already has your name on the outside so there is no reason to write anything else. Most people give at least 500 baht. You can give more if you are close to the couple. Weddings are expensive so this money helps pay for it.

The main part of the wedding ceremony is the blessing of the couple with lustural water. For this wedding, this took place at about 10.30 a.m. or 90 minutes after the procession to the house. If you want to skip the earlier chanting and the negotiation of the sin sod, then just turn up late for this part. This is often done at the house, though some people arrange for this to take place at the wedding reception in the evening. The ceremony is presided over by a senior member of the family or an invited guest who knows the rituals. A kind of spell is incanted which bless their future together. Then the “twin crown”, called “mongkhon faet” in Thai, is placed on their heads at exactly the same time. This is similar to the “mongkhon” worn by Thai boxers during their blessing ceremony. However, this version comes as a pair as there is a thin thread connecting the two. The dots, using the white paste earlier blessed by the monks, are then put on the forehead of each couple.

Relatives and friends then line up to take turns blessing the couple. If you decide to attend this ceremony, then you will need to pay attention to see how it is performed. Notice that the bride is sitting on the groom’s left. So, you first bless the groom. There will be someone standing by the bowl who will fill the small conch with the blessed water. You will probably spot some of the “silver leaf” and “gold leaf” and even “love leaf” leaves floating in the water. Hold the conch in your right hand with the left hand supporting it. Then pour some water up and down of the outstretched hand of the groom. At the same time, say something like “may you always be happy and live a long life together”. Make sure that you don’t use up all the water as you need to repeat this ritual for the bride.

By the time the last person had blessed the couple and photos had been taken standing next to the bride and groom, more than four hours had passed. I am not sure about the happy couple, but I was certainly tired. I had just taken nearly 1,000 pictures during the morning. But, it is not over yet. The main wedding reception was scheduled for that evening. I will share with you pictures of that later.
sin sod

There was actually one more ceremony that took place though I wasn’t invited. This is called the “arranging of the pillows” or “riang mon” in Thai. This takes place in the bedroom. The sin sod is placed on the bed together with the auspicious leaves. The bride and groom lie down on the bed with the sin sod between them. The bride to the left and the groom to the right. Someone who has been happily married for many years will then give instruction to the couple about how to lead a successful marriage. As this is a family website, I won’t go into details of some of the topics discussed.





Related Blogs and Articles: Probably the most famous Thai Wedding on the Internet was of Thailand’s famous Internet teenager, Panrit “Gor” Daoruang. You can read all about his wedding and see the photos at thailandlife.com. About three years ago, I wrote a popular blog called How to Get Married Cheaply. It was a kind of mass wedding ceremony where a group of couples got married at the same time. Our Steve wrote about his own wedding in a blog called Getting Married……In Thailand and our resident Thai blogger, Oakmonster, writer about her Thai wedding in America in Temple of Love. Finally, if you are dating a Thai girl or boy, then you might find our Relationships Forum useful as it helps with cultural misunderstanding and procedures like meeting the family for the first time. You need to register to see this forum. It is quick and free to do so

Monday, 14 February 2011

With Love




สำหรับใครที่ยัง........"โสด"
ความรักนั้นมันก็เหมือนกับ"ผีเสื้อ"

ยิ่งคุณวิ่งเข้าหามันเท่าไหร่
มันก็จะห่างคุณออกไปเท่านั้น
แต่ถ้าคุณปล่อยมันไปมันจะเข้ามาหาคุณเองแหล่ะ
ถ้าคุณไม่คาดหวังกับมันมาก
ความรักสามารถทำให้คุณมีความสุข
แต่มันก็สามารถทำให้คุณเจ็บปวดได้บ่อยๆ เหมือนกัน
แต่ความรักเป็นสิ่งที่พิเศษ
ถ้าคุณได้ให้มันกับใครสักคนที่เค้าดีที่สุดสำหรับคุณ
ดังนั้นค่อยๆ
หาไปล่ะกันนะคะ
และเลือกคนที่ดีที่สุด
สำหรับคุณ

------------------------------------------------------

สำหรับใครที่....."ไม่โสด"
เค้าบอกว่า...
ความรักไม่ได้มาจากคนที่สมบูรณ์ไปหมดทุกอย่าง
แต่มันจะมาจากคนที่สามารถช่วยคุณให้เป็น
คนที่ดีที่สุดเท่าที่คุณจะเป็นได้.....

สำหรับใครที่เป็น......."เสือผู้หญิงหรือคนเจ้าชู้"
อย่าพูดคำว่า"รัก"เลยถ้าคุณไม่ได้หมายความถึงคำๆนั้นจริง
อย่าไปยุ่งเกี่ยวกับชีวิตเค้าเลย
ถ้าคุณจะทำให้เค้าเสียใจ
อย่าไปมองลึกถึงดวงตา
ถ้าทุกคำพูดของคุณโกหกทั้งเพ
มันไม่ยุติธรรมถ้าผู้ชายทำให้ผู้หญิงเข้าหลงรัก
แล้วไม่ใส่ใจใยดี
ถ้าผู้หญิงต้องอกหักและในทางกลับกันของ
ผู้หญิงก็เหมือนกัน......

สำหรับใครที่......."แต่งงานแล้ว"
ความรักไม่ใช่..."มันเป็นความผิดของคุณ"
แต่จะเป็นคำว่า
"ฉันขอโทษ"
มากกว่าที่จะบอกว่า
"ไปอยู่ไหนมา"
แต่จะเป็นคำว่า
"ฉันยังอยู่ตรงนี้นะ"
มากกกว่าที่จะบอกว่า
"คุณทำได้อย่างไร"
ไม่ใช่คำที่พูดว่า...
"ฉันอยากให้คุณอยู่ตรงนี้"
แต่จะเป็นคำว่า...."
ขอบคุณนะที่เธออยู่ตรงนี้กับฉัน"

--------------------------------------------------------

สำหรับใครที่......"หมั้นหมายกันอยู่"
สิ่งที่สำคัญที่สุดไม่ได้อยู่ที่ว่า
การอยู่ด้วยกันเป็นปีๆ
แล้วไม่ได้ทะเลาะกัน
แต่จะอยู่ที่ว่า
ความดีที่คุณทั้งสอง
มีต่อกันมากกว่า......(อืม...จริงแฮะ)

------------------------------------------------

สำหรับใครที่......"อกหัก"
(อันนี้เค้าเขียนดี..เค้าบอกว่า...)
การอกหักมันยาวนานพอๆ
กับที่คุณต้องการให้มันอยู่กับคุณหรือ
อยากจะตัดใจให้ออกไปจากใจของคุณ
สิ่งที่สำคัญก็คือว่า
มันไม่ใช่จะต้องอยู่กับการอกหัก
แต่มันอยู่ที่ว่า....เราเรียนรู้จากมันได้แค่ไหน
ต่างหาก......

-----------------------------------------------------

สำหรับใครๆที่...."ยังไม่เคยรัก"
จะรักได้อย่างไร:....
อย่ารักแบบหัวปักหัวป่ำ
เป็นตัวของตัวเองบ้าง
แต่อยากให้เห็นแก่ตัวเองทั้งหมด
รู้จักแบ่งปันและอย่าเอาเปรียบ
พยายามเข้าใจกันและกันมากกว่าที่จะบอกว่า
ตัวเองต้องการอะไร
ถึงจะเจ็บก็เจ็บ
แต่อย่าเอาความเจ็บนั้น
ติดตัวเสมอไป

-----------------------------------------------------

สำหรับใครที่......"มีคนหลงรักอยู่"
เค้าบอกว่า...มันเจ็บปวดที่เห็นคนที่เรารัก
ไปมีความรักกับคนอื่น
แต่มันจะเจ็บปวดยิ่งกว่าถ้าคนที่เรารัก
ไม่มีความสุขเมื่ออยู่กับคุณ

---------------------------------------------------

สำหรับใครที่......"กลัวต่อการสารภาพ(รัก)"
ความรักมันเจ็บปวด
ถ้าคุณต้องไปบอกเลิกกับใครสักคน
แต่มันจะเจ็บยิ่งกว่าถ้ามีคนมาบอกเลิกกับคุณ
แต่มันจะเจ็บสุดๆ
ถ้าคนที่คุณรัก
เค้าไม่รู้เลยว่า
คุณรักเค้าแค่ไหน?????

-----------------------------------------------------

เค้าบอกว่า..สิ่งที่เสียใจในชีวิตก็คือ
การที่เราพบใครสักคนที่เรารัก
และคบกันไปจนถึงวันสิ้นสุด
ความสัมพันธ์ของคุณทั้งสอง.....
คุณเสียเวลาไปเป็นปีๆ
ให้กับคนที่คนที่เค้ายังไม่ใช่คนๆนั้นสำหรับคุณ
แต่ถ้าเค้าคนนั้นของคุณ
ไม่ใช่คนที่ใช่เลยแล้วล่ะก็
คุณจะมาเสียเวลาเป็นปีๆให้เค้าทำไม...
สู้เลิกกันเสียแต่ตอนนี้ดีกว่า.....

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สำหรับเพื่อนๆทุกๆคน......
เค้าบอกว่า....
ฉันปรารถนาให้ทุกๆคนที่มีความรัก
จงซื่อสัตย์เข้มแข็ง
อย่าอ่อนไหวอย่าโลเล
อย่าเห็นแก่ตัว
ให้ความรักของคุณเจริญเติบโตมากขึ้นๆ
ให้ความฝันความหวังและ
ให้รางวัลชีวิตแด่กันและกัน
เท่านี้รักของคุณก็ยิ่งใหญ่
 





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